I can't buy Spotted Dick any more than. It's offensive, they say. Don't cognize why, as it contains assassinated carnal produce, which seemingly is not offensive, E numbers that don't offend, grease, lard, currants. Especially currants. Can currants really insult me.

But no. It's the identify that offends, isn't it? Spotted? Is this loathsome perhaps to disobedient youths, riddled beside acne, or does it name to their beingness dappled in the suffering of mugging few old lady, for her period of time income money? Ooops, that's not politically exact is it?

Then it has to be the Dick portion of the first name which is obnoxious. Again, surprising, according to my mate Richard - or Dick, as we telephone him; he hasn't been accosted by the Thought Police yet, for uttering his abbreviated term when human being introduced to ladies titled Fanny.

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Maybe it's honorable me. Maybe that flat solid really is a chalkboard, and Blackpool genuinely is Holiday Town. I sure know that Christmas in Birmingham is Winterville, and cards enclose pictures of tractors or else of the politically-incorrect Christian symbols. I preference to God - oops, remorseful - that we could return to Olde Worlde traditions and speak about the PC Brigade to get stuffed - sorry, that's filthy to turkeys.

But you know what I average. Erosion of rampant awareness prevails, and clear-cut Simons - sorry, Simon, I'm so un-PC nowadays - sit down wood - can I say that? - desks, near jetting structure pens in manus - sorry, that is so weighed down near physiological property references, isn't it? - and scrawl off the wall - apologies to grouping in mental homes - religious writing that have certainly no bearing on world at all.

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